Fridays are different now.

While I was working, I remember counting down the hours of my Friday.  I felt like a school girl waiting for the last bell to ring. Freedom.  Fridays meant I would finally be able to relax, get things done around the house, and enjoy friends, family, and especially my husband.

Fridays are different now.  The bell is fading.  It is being replaced with pondering and questioning. The weekdays fly by, and I am left wondering, what in the world did I do? 

Of course I did four loads of laundry, cleaned the kitchen and bathroom, swept, mopped and vacuumed Dexter's hair from the floor. It's times like these I wish he were a poodle.  

I walked for about an hour and half everyday with Dexter and my mom.

I built two dressers for our room.  I smugly mocked the instructions that had an X on working alone, while two men stand with hammers and a pencil smiling, take that Ikea.

I watched my friends' boys while they were stranded at the hospital waiting for an ultrasound.  

I continued to decorate the kid room.

I made my bed everyday, tucking in the sides, and placing the pillows as best as I could.  (Our pillows are too small for their shams, so they look weird.)

And that's what I did.  This is my life, right now.  And you know what?  I love it.  

I'm not going to wait "for my life to begin" once we're licensed, or once we have a child in our home.  This is the day He has made, and I do rejoice in it.  I rejoice that I am able to be home, and make the house look lovely for my husband and roommate when they come home.  I rejoice that I can be available to friends at any moment.  I rejoice that life is slower and I am able to spend time with my Lord and savour it.  

Today is my brother Rodney's birthday.  

Rodney is my second oldest brother.  

He is an artist at heart, smooth a silk pie and as sweet as honey.

Happy birthday Rodney.  Now, let's go have some pizza. 

For those of you out in the working field, Happy Friday, you made it once again.  Congrats.

And Happy Friday to the rest of us, even if it is a little anti-climatic.

love, 

Kristin

a not-so desperate housewife

I thought I would share with you this biggest change in the Zamora house. 

I am, as of right now, unemployed.  

That's right, I am a housewife.  When we decided to take on the adventure of foster care, we also decided that I would stay home with the little ones.  The school year started this week, and I am at home instead of my classroom.  It is a weird place to be:  waiting to be licensed and knowing that I'm no longer working.

Staying at home was terrifying to me for two reasons.

1. Money:  Even though I wasn't bringing home an incredible amount each month, it was significant enough to help with savings.  

I am a savings kind of girl.  

Savings to me is my safety net, and my vision of the future.  Visions of a redone kitchen, hardwood flooring, and sunny vacations. When I am able to transfer a lump some of money from my checking to my savings, I do a little jive in my head.  What I am being reminded of is, my safety net and my vision aren't what matters.  It's something I already knew.  However, I was still holding on to it.  

And now I had to let it go.  And as terrifying as it may be, there is a freedom there. There is freedom knowing I'm not in control, and our Creator is.  Will all of our wants be met?  Absolutely not.  But He will provide for all of our needs.

Are we still saving? Of course.  

Is it as much as I would like it to be?  It never has been.

2.  Discipline:   I lack discipline when it comes to the time I will spend reading my latest book, browsing through pinterest, or even watching a hulu show now and then.  

When I was working I used to say how much I would get done if I was at home.  I would prefer for this to be true.  

So I have made lists every day.  I try to get those lists completed, if not, an item or two may hop onto the next day.  I have found myself lost in time now and then.  However, for the most part, I'm doing my best to be as productive as I can.

I can say this: the Hacker has not had to do an ounce of laundry since I have been off work. Progress.

Of course I miss my classroom, students, and I always miss my coworkers.  However, so far, so good.  

Since I have been home I have fallen head over heels for this guy.

He sleeps 90% of the day.  We take longer walks in the morning, which I am loving.  When we get home, he eats and sleeps, while I do chores.  Ah, to be an American dog. (sigh)

So, here's to staying at home, and making our bed everyday.

Kristin